You + Ladies Zwift Avatar Relationship: Complicated

Social media has been a buzz with the recent Zwift Update that included new avatar customization tools. Even though users understand updates = improvements, it also means change. And this was one change, received with mixed reviews. The reactions have straddled a divide that cuts along gender lines.

Generally speaking, the men took changes in stride, applauding new facial hair options, poking fun at man buns, and posting pictures of their new look. The women, in both the co-ed and ladies forums, expressed more frustration by the change. Biggest criticisms were the newer “chiseled” (more masculine) body shape, and the limited (feminine) hair options. Namely, the loss of the familiar ponytail (one of the key differentiators in game), cut a little close to the core.

Not sure if Zwift could have seen this coming (after all, this was meant to be an improvement), or if they could have anticipated the community’s response, but the good news is that they have eyes and ears in these social media groups and were quick to listen and respond. The upshot? There will be more customization tools coming, and guess what? It’s kind of tricky from a programming perspective to have flowing locks or ponytail.

Specific features aside, the buzz created by the change shined a light on something I know to be a truth (generally speaking). A woman’s relationship with her body is complicated. Is it no wonder, this relationship would extend to her Avatar? It’s well documented that women are targeted and flooded with messages that their self worth is tied to their appearance. The lump sum message we receive (since childhood) boils down to this: “whatever your shape or size…its wrong”. Too thin, fat, tall, short….Headline: Whatever you’re born with isn’t enough or right. I can intellectualize this fact, but I cannot for the life of me internalize this to alter my own the reactions when I see an unflattering image of myself. Complicated.

Here’s a very recent example. This photo was taken a few weeks ago.

I am reaching the summit of Mount Washington, one of the steepest climbs in the world. Instead of feeling empowered by this image, I couldn't bring myself to post it. My knee-jerk reaction to the image was “Oh gosh I look like a tank”. I immediately recognized something is seriously askew in that reaction. On the one hand, I couldn’t be more proud and thankful for my health/strength, and on the other, I couldn’t accept the shape of the body that carries it! Complicated. In the end, I posted a different picture – one that conveys me embracing my power (but one that makes me look less like a “tank”).

Which brings me back to my avatar. No ponytail, no problem. I decided to sport the Mohawk. Not because its what I have in real life, but because I can use my avatar to embody and embrace the rebel I envision myself to be (but lack the courage to express) in my real life. I’m not hung up on my avatar's shape, and don't care that it doesn't match mine- in fact I like that she’s a bit more chiseled than me. Her broad shoulders can bear the weight of an unforgiving real life world. I can escape with her on the imaginary streets in the game. My choice is to consider these updates as new tools of expression and empowerment.

"Be careful how you speak to your body, she's listening to every word..." is a phrase my mom used repeat to me. They are ringing in my ears now. Time for me to "Embrace the Tank". If not for me, for the example I set for my two young daughters. Its my hope that they grow to celebrate the strength of their bodies, not lament its shape.